Dept of Daft is delighted to open its doors to Burner Balm ($5.99), a brand new natural lip balm that boosts energy, burns fat and suppresses hunger - all while making sure your pouter is lip-smackingly moisturized.
The gullible may be impressed by the fact that Burner Balm was invented by a bone fide doctor, Allan Kurtz MD. And surely even the skeptical might have been take in by the outrageous free publicity on NBC's Today Show. Host Kathie Lee smeared her undoubtedly filled lips with Burner Balm and gushed that she had given away half her lunch the day before, adding "and that's not like me". She didn't tell us who she gave it to.
Other questions pop up, of course. Such as how does it work? Burner Balm's website has a tab called "science" and then tells us "science will be coming soon". Hmm. I do know that Burner Balm's supposedly "breakthrough" ingredient is chromium picolinate. As it has been around for about 10 years or more, it's not really new news. Furthermore, it probably doesn't work. Chromium picolinate is a nutritional supplement that works by increasing the efficiency of insulin. Some animal studies have shown that it encourage weight loss. However, these results have not been replicated on humans with the result that science
is largely unsupportive of the claims.
The other active in Burner Balm is hoodia, an extract from an African plant that is in danger of becoming extinct. It is usually taken as an oral supplement to suppress the appetite. The energy boosting component of this lip balm is caffiene.
I'm inspired by Burner Balm to ressurrect an old business idea of mine: shoes that burn calories with every step taken.