One of my earliest posts was a confessional on my flirtation with daily facial exercises. I'm a bit of an exercise nut and work out my body most days, so I was drawn to the idea that if I did the facial equivalent of a bicep curl, I would fend off wrinkles. And being something of a stickler for seeing things through, I kept at this routine called Facercise night after night, month after month. I can now tell you that gurning in front of a mirror looks ridiculous, is pointless and, with hindsight, a monumental waste of time.
So when I received an email alerting me to the FaceTrainer with an invite to get to know more over a cup of tea at the W Hotel, my first reaction was no!,no!
Which turned out to be spookily prescient because the company that has brought FaceTrainer to the world is called No! No! Why you would decide to create a brand with two negatives and exclamation marks is beyond me. Anyhow, the company's new product, which can be bought on HSN, is even more bizarre.
FaceTrainer is basically a two hundred dollar ski mask (or think balaclava helmet, if you are English). When I first saw it, I assumed that you had to plug it in, or that it came with batteries. You see, if I was going to put this ridiculous thing over my head - having forked out $199 no less - I'd think it only reasonable that it does all the work. It would send, I mused, little electric pulses to my cheek muscles whilst I do the ironing or read The New Yorker. But no (No!). You still have to physically distort your facial muscles, in other words perform some form of Facercise.
It isn't at all clear to me what value add this thing is bringing. Perhaps sweating in it is deemed to be helpful to anti-aging. I presume you do sweat quite profusely because the instructions make quite a big deal out of wiping it out after use.
Who on earth would say Yes! Yes! to this preposterous waste of money. At least the only thing I invested in for Facercise was a $25 (or thereabouts) book. Granted, FaceTrainer does come with a video, user guide, bag for storage and wipes - as you can see from the sophisticated illustration taken from the No! No! website.
Tempting, isn't it. A word of warning before you rush off with your cheque books. No! No! advises replacing the FaceTrainer every four to six months. Did I say waste of money? And, by the way, did I mention that facial excercises don't work.