Should you have a big event coming up that you want to look young and fabulous for, don't have the time/funds for cosmetic surgery or the patience to try my seven-day regimen
, then you could always go for the instant facelift that costs less than $30: the Facelift Bungee. Although I find it unappealing in both name and practice, Facelift bungee does have the advantage of being natural (sort of) and safe (sort of). All it requires is a full head of hair and the suspension of disbelief.
The inventor of Facelift Bungee conceived of the idea when she was preparing to go to a wedding and was put off having a facelift by the price. Distressed, she put her hands to her temples, pressed upward, saw herself look ten years younger and, being a practical sort, got busy with a length of elastic and some plastic combs.
Facelift Bungee requires you to make little hair braids at each side of your head, slot the comb into the braid, take the elastic around the back of your head and slot comb into braid on the other side. Presumably, it has to be pretty tight to get the full pull-backed, instant face lift effect. I imagine it isn't recommended for those prone to migraines or ponytail headaches.
Unless you want to look ridiculous standing in line for a bus, you need enough hair to cover the entire thing, sides and back. Which basically means hair that is long and full.
I do rather like Facelift Bungee's cute packaging in a jar that looks like a pot of face cream and the thoughtful idea of providing two colors: black and white. My nightmare scenario is Facial Bungee's elastic snapping half way through the wedding ceremony to reveal the sad and sagging truth.