It looks like a bicycle helmet on wheels and, when wearing it, you’ll look like Darth Vader’s reject understudy, but it will make your hair grow (while playing you music) and all for only $699.95. Yes, folks, this is the Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator for the follically challenged everywhere.

Whether your follicles will be freaked out or frazzled remains another issue. Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator delivers them “a broad array of pulsed light energy” from 21 lasers that are built in to the ‘helmet’.

These days Google helpfully fills in your search terms before you’ve even had time to type them and “laser hair” inspires the search engine to come up with “removal”. This is the opposite of the Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator intentions: it promises to grow hair in 60 days with laser beams that produce “a 655nm wavelength - the optimal wavelength used in LLLT (low level laser therapy) for increased cellular activity within hair follicles”.

There are other hair growth devices that use LLLT, such as the laser comb. I have been intrigued by them for some time, yet I have never been able to find any research demonstrating that low level laser therapy results in hair growth.

But for me, the most disappointing aspect of the Hands Free Hair Rejuvenator is that in order to play music to your sprouting follicles you need to supply your own iPod.