Melania Trump Beauty Products

"I created the Melania Skin Care Collection,” says Melania Trump on her website. Just two days ago, Melania also told us that she’d written most of her own speech for the Republican Convention — and, well, you’ve read the news. Perhaps Michelle Obama first had the idea for caviar-infused creams, too, but got too busy setting up a veg patch in the White House grounds.

All jokes aside, I must confess that Melania’s anti-aging line completely slipped by me for years. It seems that she rolled out the products in 2012, not long after The Donald launched his short-lived skin care line BioCé (gone but not forgotten).

Melania Beauty Caviar Complexe C6 is said to be a “revolutionary” line that is driven by technology. The star ingredient is caviar from a cultured sturgeon farm in the South of France. I wonder what cultured sturgeon are — perhaps they read a lot, recite poetry, opine on home décor. I wonder what a cultured sturgeon would feel like in a gold-plated, Baroque jar of cream on Melania’s vanity.

Before I even pondered caviar as an anti-aging ingredient, I remembered a recent New York Magazine article on caviar cruelty. According to How Stuff Works, “the freshest caviar is plucked from a live fish, so sturgeon are often stunned to the head and slit open while still alive.” Not a nice thing to happen to unrefined let alone cultured fish. However, there is a no-kill caviar massage technique that was developed by a German scientist. So how does Melania get her fish eggs? She doesn’t say.

If that all sounds a bit fishy, I’m even less persuaded by its Lipid Matrix Receptor. The only thing I could find out about it is that it delivers nutrients to the skin. Pretty vague. Other key ingredients in Melania Beauty include PhotoFirm Blend and opal mica — note that the only opal mica I could turn up in brief online search was a car.  

Melania admits that Donald has only tried Caviar Complexe C6 a couple of times, but she slathers young Barron with it from head to toe. Good enough for Barron? Good enough for me. So I went off to track down and purchase one of her potions.

Lord & Taylor no longer sells Melania Caviar Complex C6, having depleted inventory in a half-off sale, according to the Daily Beast. And although the line lives on as a series of glossy photos on Melania’s website, I couldn’t find it on sale anywhere. Another shuttered Trump business?