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Andy Rooney

CBS's Andy Rooney on Women Over 40

Reviewed by TIA Community Member February 1, 2013 11 Comments

Sent in by Melanie

CBS commentator, Andy Rooney on women over 40:

"As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize."

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

EDITOR'S NOTE: Thanks to our diligent Truth In Aging community, we have been informed that this essay was incorrectly attributed to Andy Rooney. The correct author is a gentleman named Frank Kaiser, as verified by Thanks, everyone!

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  • July 8, 2014

    by Me

    Actually, Andy didn't have anything to say on women over 40. Well, he might have, but it certainly wasn't the comments below. Those were made by a man named Frank Kaiser back in 2000 in an essay he wrote for For some reason, the essay was attributed to Rooney and went viral (we're guessing that's how you got here, too). This particular version was posted by a DivineCaroline user back in 2007 and was all but forgotten until it began making the rounds on Facebook recently. For the full story on this Internet hoax and others that have made believers out of millions, check out Andy Rooney on Women, and 5 Other Hoaxes to Avoid.

  • May 22, 2014

    by Christina

    Thanks to everyone who posted about the correct attribution for this piece. We've updated our article to reflect this!

  • May 21, 2014

    by Kimberley

    .....Except Andy Rooney NEVER said this. See the other comments. Please correct your article?

  • May 17, 2013

    by Lisa

    I love this & I am not a fan of Snopes

  • December 6, 2011

    by Julie Dennehy

    Love this piece of writing BUT this piece is not actually Andy Rooney's but falsely attributed to him. Check out the true author: and here on - credit where credit is due, which is to Frank Kaiser.

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