With Heidi Klum fronting and a no-brainer price tag of five bucks, Clear Scalp & Hair Therapy is a sure fire winner. That is, if you don’t actually care what you put on your head. I took a look at Clear’s Total Care Shampoo ($4.99) and it is even less appealing than Klum’s In An Instant skincare line.

I don’t really have anything good to say about this formula. Even the much vaunted Nutrium 10™, which is supposed to be “an advanced moisture complex of vitamins and nutrients including vitamins B5, C & E, sunflower, almond, soybean & coconut oils and aloe vera” leaves a lot to be desired. There is indeed aloe leaf extract and some niacinamide (vitamin B), right near the end of a long list of chemicals, most of which are so nasty that Clear shampoo should carry a health warning.

First up is the irritant sodium laureth sulfate. Although gentler than its sister, lauryl sulfate, sulfates are something that modern shampoo manufacturers are trending away from. In Germany, a product cannot be labeled 'natural' if it contains any members of the sulfate family (lauryl, laureth, or ammonium). DMDM Hydantoin is sometimes considered dangerous because of its toxic formaldehyde component, although the percentage is so small that it has been approved safe by the Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel. It can cause irritation or an allergic reaction on sensitive skin. Another one best avoided is Poloxamer 407, according to the EWG Skin Deep database, is a surfactant and a human immune system toxicant.

TEA Dodecylbenzenesulfonate is considered to be an irritant and in Europe concentrations are limted to 2.5%. There are also concerns about laureths (there are two here) as they may contain trace levels of 1,4-dioxane, a toxic chemical. Methylisothiazolinone is a sensitizer and irritant, as is another preservative, methylchloroisothiazolinone. Zinc Pyrithione is a common treatment for dandruff, but has been known to trigger allergic reactions, such as rashes. Bismuth Oxychloride is also an irritant.

Actually, if only this was in an aerosol it would make a good self-defense spray.

Ingredients: Water (Aqua), Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Fragrance, Dimethiconol, Sodium Chloride, Carbomer, Dimethicone, Sodium Lauroyl Isethionate, Zinc Pyrithione, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, DMDM Hydantoin, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Stearic Acid, citric acid, Tallow Acid or Palmitic Acid, Zinc Sulfate, Glycerin, TEA Dodecylbenzenesulfonate, Sodium Isethionate, Poloxamer 407, Laureth 23, Laureth 4, Tocopheryl Acetate, Prunus Amydalus Dulcis (Sweet Almond) Oil, PPG 9, PEG 9M, Panthenol, Lysine HCl, Hydrogenated Coconut Oil, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Xanthan Gum, Methylisothiazolinone, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Niacinamide, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Ascorbic Acid, Mica (CI 77019), Bismuth Oxychloride (CI 77163), Titanium Dioxide (CI 77891), Red 33 (CI 17200)