Normally I wouldn't give something this inane the time of day, but Amazing Soap is just too amazing to pass up. Amazing Soap has the answer for every physical imperfection and psychological woe you've ever endured. Got the flu? Want to lose weight? Need arthritis relief? All you have to do is hop in the shower and lather up with Amazing Soap to wash your worries away.

The marketing people must have had a ball with this one. Somehow, they managed to come up with fourteen separate, convincing arguments for each bar of Amazing Soap. The collection includes a soap for tanning, energy, sunscreen, weight loss, insect repelling, cellulite blasting, stretch mark reducing, acne zapping, aloe vera soothing, poison ivy relieving, vitamin blasting, sports enhancing, and cold fighting. Do you think if we melted all fourteen bars into one giant soap block it would cure terminal diseases and bring world peace?

In case you're wondering how these sudsy miracles work, each type of soap bar is "scientifically engineered" to contain a special active agent that is absorbed into the body with the help of "moisturizers that bond to the skin." We're dealing with high science here. The sunscreen soap sports titanium dioxide, zinc oxide, and dihydroxyacitone, whereas the tanning soap has dihydroxyacitone (DHA) and erythulose. You'll find neem oil in the bug repellant soap, methylsulfonymethane in the arthritis soap, glycolic acid in the stretch mark removal soap, salicylic acid in the acne soap, seaweed powder in the weight loss soap, and creatine in the sports enhancement soap. Both the energy and anti-cellulite soaps contain caffeine. And I bet you'll never guess what's in the vitamin soap.

The contents of Amazing Soaps are actually kind of useful as sort of "active ingredients 101". Two soaps stand out as potentially, however minimally, effective: the aloe vera soap, which boasts 7% aloe vera gel, and the poison ivy/itchy skin relief soap, which delivers a blend of calamine lotion (4%) and kaolin clay (3%). Anyhow, Amazing Soaps make for a great gag gift, especially at $2.99 a pop (on sale!).

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Ingredients in base soap:

Coconut Oil, Palm Oil, Castor Oil, Safflower Oil, Glycerine (kosher, of vegetable origin), Purified Water, Sodium Hydroxide (saponifying agent), Sorbitol (moisturizer), Sorbitan oleate (emulsifier), Soybean protein (conditioner)