A wannabe British celebrity called Maria (for the curious, there are winsome pictures of her with her Birkin bag on her website) and her investment banker husband are behind Rodial, whose latest potion is Boob Job. Unlike Rodial's Glamotox (a "Botox in a jar" product that was based on run of the mill muscle freezing ingredients), Boob Job has something that is genuinely new.

It is called Volufiline and it is made by cosmetics ingredients company Sederma. Volufiline is, in fact, the combination of hydrogenated polyisobutene, a synthetic oil that is widely used in cosmetics, and root extract of the anemarrhenae asphodeloides plant, a laxative that is also used to make soap. Unlikely as it may seem, this combination is good at stimulating the adipocytes, the connective tissue that makes and stores fat.

According to Rodial, after a slap up meal, your fat cells are roaming around your body. In my case, that would be in the general direction of my hips. Boob Job will stop these cells in their tracks and force them to hang around your breasts. Hence you will get bigger boobs; to be precise, cup size will be increased by 8.4%.