A boy getting pooped on by a bird
It's true. Spas in London and New York are offering facials using powdered bird droppings. I particularly like the fact that the London establishment, Hari, has been offering bull semen to treat dry hair for some time now. But then we Brits are known to entertain perversity.

The New York Spa, Shizuka, adopts a more Carrie Bradshaw-like sensibility. The press release assures us that the droppings are from Japanese nightingales (so, no, don't try to make a fast buck by scooping up pigeon droppings in Times Square and flogging them to the nearest esthetician). And they have been sanitized with ultra violet light (phew, no danger of contracting Asian bird flu then). Naturally, bird droppings have been used by hundreds of generations of geishas but until now have been a closely guarded secret.

In actual fact, it was traditionally used to remove the thick make up worn by geishas and performers. Perhaps it's the acidic content. After all, bird crap will eventually corrode paintwork and even masonary.

In Japan, it is called uguisu no fun. If you can't get to a city spa, you can wing it by buying it in cream form. Doesn't come cheep though.... Sorry, the possibilities for bad puns are endless so I'll sign off.