So you thought Madonna stayed young and gorgeous with the help of the odd nip and tuck? Nope, she's got an antiaging iPhone app. Want one too? In early 2010, the iPhone will become indispensible to boomers with the ‘AntiAgingApp’, supposed to reduce wrinkles, cellulite and hair loss.

The $2.99 application, which will be sold on iTunes, aims to sucker hapless baldies and wrinklies by making them think their phone is emitting color, light and sound therapy to “heal” wrinkles, acne, cellulite, joint pain, sleep disorders and stimulate hair growth. Ten more applications, for $0.99 each, will be launched for individual “treatments”.

If the AntiAgingApp makes you even more addicted to your iPhone, help is at hand from Clarins. A couple of years ago, Clarins launched Expertise 3P, a potion that protects cell phone users from "electromagnetic waves" (until, that is, the British Advertising Standards Authority told Clarins its claims were ridiculous).