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Would you wear a crazy contraption on your face if it was purported to reduce signs of aging? As Daily Mail recently reported, Japan Trend Shop is offering a variety of gadgets that claim to turn back the clock, though most of them look like medieval torture devices.

For saggy jowls, the Kogao Face Lift Up Belt ($18) promises to tighten skin with daily use. Stretching all around the head with cutouts for the ears, it’s said to be such a comfortable fit, you can do your housework while fighting signs of aging in the neck. However, you should probably close the blinds first.  

Though my cheeks hurt just looking at the Age-ru Face Maker ($30), this stretchy little number is said to pull the skin and muscles and cause the face to tighten. If we are to believe that wearing a mask like this can leave a lasting effect on your face, I hate to think what it does to your ears, which are what hold it in place.

For all over wrinkles and skin slack, there is the Facewaver Exercise Mask ($60), which basically looks like an ACE bandage for your whole head. It has cut outs for your eyes, nose and mouth, so while wearing it, you can still breathe and glance in mirrors to see how ridiculous you look. Once you have this nylon mask snuggly secured, it’s advised that you do five minutes of facial exercises daily – this is said to stretch the skin and muscles while improving blood circulation to the face. There’s no mention of this on the website, but it’s probably best not to wear this around small children, animals or romantic interests.  

The Hourei Lift Bra ($40) is not what you might think — this particular bra is for your face. Intended to reduce smile lines, this strap on headgear stretches across the nose and fits tightly to the nasolabial folds. I’m willing to bet that this at least works preventatively, as just the thought of wearing it regularly is enough to stop me from smiling.

For a more active anti-aging tool, there’s the Rhythm Slim Chin Muscle Exercise ($84). This is essentially crunches for your neck with the intention of tightening and toning. If you want to look younger without breaking a sweat, The Eye Slack Haruka ($98) allows you to kick back while it does all the work. This product alleges to tackle undereye bags with electrical muscle stimulation and “gentle” micro-currents, though the thought of having all that so close to the eyes is a bit unnerving. But it is pink, if that makes it any less terrifying.

I can't say whether any of these wacky devices actually work, but either way, I'll be sticking to more topical skin care solutions.

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