Billy Jealousy's products are "sharply tailored for the sophisticated bad boy", Yes, it really says that. And yes, its really nauseating and somehow so very 80s. Nevertheless, I have been looking for a hard working hand cream for guys and no-nonsense girls and I alighted on Billy Jealousy's Golden Gloves Therapeutic Hand Cream.

I should have given up with a sneer when I found out that Golden Gloves' key ingredient is Tahitian gardenia. That's for a sophisticated bad boy with mirrors on his ceiling. You don't even want to contemplate what aftershave he is wearing. Anyway, I plodded dutifully through the rest of ingredients. I hope sophisticated bad boy doesn't have sensitive skin.

For reasons known only to Billy (and, perhaps, to the 1,395 friends he has on his MySpace page - including Buffy Tyler, who looks every bit as one might imagine a Buffy Tyler to look), Golden Gloves includes sodium hydroxide. This is severely irritating even in very small concentrations. For good measure, there is also hydrogenated lecithin, which functions to ensure other ingredients really penetrate the skin.

Oh alright, here's the link to Billy's MySpace page (mind you come back to Truth In Aging).