It seems I can always count on Dr Gregory Bays Brown (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Dr Brandt) of Révive to give me a chuckle. This time though I positively howled (in a very British and ladylike way, of course) with laughter: $1500 (yes that is two zeros) for a month’s supply of anti-wrinke serum. This puts Lancome’s $80 petroleum jelly that wound up in a Consumer Reports roundup in the shade.  And that’s saying something. Way to go Dr B.

But of course you are absolutely dying to know what could possibly deserve a $1500 price tag.  So here’s the promise. Révive Peau Magnifique Youth Recruit is a set of four vials that will “reset your skin’s aging clock” with “results that are indelible and life-changing”. I am developing a bit of a soft spot for whoever writes this stuff. I particularly like this phrase: “RéVive® continues to push the envelope further from the scalpel to the test tube.”

Anyhow, one of these ampoules lasts a week. And you’ll be extremely relieved to know that after you have used all four, you don’t need to do it again for another six months. So your twice a year Peau Magnifique habit will only set you back $3,000. And for what you ask.

Well, the first two ingredients are water and glycerin. And then there’s a nice seaweed and hydrating sodium hyaluronate. But what its really all about is The Big Four. The first of these is the peptide combo known as Matrixyl 3000. Then there is epidermal growth factor (EGF) and a fibroblast growth factor (FGF). Before forking out $1500 it would be nice to know a bit more about these. There are lots of different FGF’s and they do different things. The E’shee range (which with a serum at $179 that I can make last three or four months is beginning to look quite reasonable), for example, uses FGF-1, which signals other FGFs to go about their business and produce collagen or grow hair. Last of the Big Four is telomerase, the enzyme that allows for replacement of short bits of DNA known as telomeres. This helps cells to live longer.

There’s a handful of other helpful – but certainly unremarkable - ingredients as well including anti-inflammatory gotu kola (listed as madecassoside), borage oil and chamomile.

The remaining 20-odd ingredients are fillers in the form of corn starch, pegs, silicone and the odd potential carcinogen such as linalool.

Dr B has certainly picked out four of the best anti-agers currently known. But they are all in other products that, while not at drugstore prices, cost considerably less - as well as E’shee, there’s ReLuma (various growth factors), Jan Marini, Osmotics and Your Best Face (teprenone, which acts on teleomeres).

Ingredients: Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Methylsilanol Mannuronate, Sodium Carboxymethyl Beta-Glucan, Sodium Hyaluronate, Palmitoyl Oligopeptide, Palmitoyl Tetrapeptide-7, Madecassoside, Recombinant EGF, Recombinant FGF, Telomerase, Panthenol, Borago Officinalis Seed Oil, Anthemis Nobilis Flower Extract, Tocopherol, Tocopheryl Acetate, Cetyl Palmitate, Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Peel Oil, Citral, Citronellol, Limonene, Linalool, Zea Mays (Corn) Starch, Butylene Glycol, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Hydrolyzed Corn Starch, Hydrolyzed Corn Starch Octenylsuccinate, PEG-33, PEG-8 Dimethicone, Hydroxyethylcellulose, PEG-14, Xanthan Gum, Carbomer, Polysorbate 20, Caprylyl Glycol, Phenoxyethanol, Methylparaben.