I was ridiculed many years ago by my best friend for bringing a pot of Nivea cream to our Venezuelan beach vacation. When I asked her rub it in to my sunburned back (I know, I know… but it was the 80s), she took a (I am still convinced) malicious glee in the way she had to really, really massage to get it to absorb. In disgust, she dismissed my Nivea cream as a “tub of lard.” It was a painful experience on many levels, and I was reminded of it when tried out Sciote Polynesian Body Crème ($50).
Yep, a tub of lard. Even though my sunbathing days are over, rubbing Sciote’s Polynesian Body Crème into my skin was a lengthy and uncomfortable experience. Now, I am a body butter woman, tending to prefer a richer treatment for body compared to a lotion. But Sciote’s is simply too dense to be absorbed without adding minutes of rubbing – enough to make my skin smart – to my post-shower routine.
It isn’t just the consistency that puts me off; I also am underwhelmed by the ingredients. Bearing in mind that Sciote typically formulates with a long list of natural ingredients and anti-aging actives, Polynesian Body Crème almost seems to have been made by another company. There are some decent oils and butters here, but nothing is really a standout. The most dominant is cocoa butter, which, it must be noted, is a fairly hard butter. Cupuaçu butter, on the other hand, is softer, and I feel that the formula might benefit from switching these two ingredients around.
My final beef with the tub of lard is that I fail to appreciate what is Polynesian about it. None of the ingredients hail from those idyllic Pacific isles. Not even the scents, which are named (a bit bizarrely) after towns in Italy.